Notes from the Scammer Files
I've decided that the ingenuity of the latest scam e-mails deserves some humorous responses. As such Ive taken to responding in kind. Without further ado I introduce you to our new weekly posting of NOTES FROM THE SCAMMER FILES, read and enjoy:
P.S. It would be unfortunate if this person's e-mail were spammed into oblivion. ORIGINAL E-MAIL Kindest Attention SUBJECT: BENEFICIARY SUM OF US$26,850,000.00 MILLION I am Simon Richards, the account officer of a foreigner named Mr. Christopher Adler, who was oil Consultant/contractor with Shell Petroleum Corporation. Moreover before his untimely death, he was actively involved in Oil {Petroleum} Exploration/Export business here in UK On the 5th of January 2003, Mr. Christopher Adler died with heart related complication. we sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. Several enquiries to locate any of his extended relatives, has proved unsuccessful. I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you. The total sum, US$26,850,000.00 is still in our bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. In accordance with the British Banking Laws and constitution, if an account is declared unserviceable by the bank, the money will be reverted to the ownership of the British Government if nobody applies as the next of Kin to claim the funds, and at the end of the day end up in the pocket of those selfish big shots in Government. That is why I am seeking for your consent/cooperation to present you as the foreign partner to stand as the Next of kin of the deceased, so that the proceeds of this account valued at US$26,850,000.00 million dollars can be paid to you. The sharing ratio will be, 50% to me and 45% to you, while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government may require. I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest co-operation and confidentiality to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. If you are really interested in this offer email me back at srichards002@gmail.com. This transaction shall commence immediately there is interest from you. Yours Faithfully, Simon Richards Allied Bank Phils. UK RESPONSE Kindest Ignorance, Subject: Beneficiary of a United States Education $Priceless I am Abdulla Ya Mama, the gun toting maniac of a house near you. I would like to inform you that your buttocks have now become the obsession of my crosshairs. Wave them incorrectly and I will be happy to ventillate your excretion organs so that you may thus forth produce an AMAZING 2X as much from two separate locations. Act now by removing my address from your offensive scamming excrement as this is a LIMITED TIME OFFER! If you dont act soon I will have to exchange the tool of my choice for something much much LARGER with the ability to perforate your cave, hovel, hole in the ground, rat shack, or west african hut. Upgrade now and save your excrement organ before its too late! Yours Faithlessly, Hannibal Lecter, Africa West |
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