[Keefe]

CONFUCIUS SAY:

 1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.

 2. Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth.

 3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

 4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.

 5. Passionate kiss like spider web-lead to undoing of fly.

 6. Man with holes in pants pockets, feels cocky all day.

 7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

 8. Virginity like balloon-one prick, all gone.

 9. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.

 10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.

 11. Baseball all wrong-man with four balls can't walk.

 12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.

 13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

 14. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.

 15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

 16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.

 17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

 18. When lady say no, she mean maybe,When lady say maybe, she mean
        yes,  When lady say yes-she no lady!

 19. Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly.

 20. Man who eats photograph of his sire is soon spitting image of his father.

 21. Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.

 22. Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with solution
 in hand.

 23.  Confucius Say Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

 24.  Confucius say it take square ass to shit a brick.

 25.  Woman who springs on innerspring this spring gets offspring next spring.

 26.  Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter.

 27.  Sex on beach is like American beer - very near water.

 28.  Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.

 29.  Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy.

 30.  Girl who is wallflower at party may be dandelion in bed.

 31.  Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!

 32.  Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.

 33.  Today, house without toilet is uncanny.

 34.  Man who lose key to girl friends apartment, no get nukey.