Real Support Calls: Stupid People

[Keefe]

These are real support calls that my co-workers answered today.

Tech: May I help you sir?
Customer: I can't view my web page.
Tech: What did you create it in?
Customer: I haven't created it yet.

Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech: What error are you receiving?
Customer: Well, it says it can't detect the modem, and I haven't bought one.

Customer: I'm getting Illegal Operations, will I get arrested?

Customer: I can't login.
Tech: Did you retype your password?
Customer: I don't have a password.
Tech: Yes you do sir, its ****, can you bring up your dialup window please, what do you have there for User Name and Pass?
Customer: Its ******, and password is blank.
Tech: Please type your password in the password field.
Customer: I most definitely will not, this is poor tech support, I told you I don't have a password *click*

[wizbones]

I got this call just the other day:

Caller: Hey Wiz, I am trying to send a fax and keep getting a "No Dialtone" Error

Wiz: Do you have your modem connected to the phone line?

Caller: Yes my DSL modem is connected and I'm online. Why can't I send a fax?

Wiz: Do you have a phone line connected to your "regular" modem as well?

Caller: No, do I need to? Why can't I just use my DSL modem?

Scary huh? I had already answered this question for the caller on two other occasions explaining how this all works and what they needed to do. Finally had them come into my shop so I could draw pictures.  :