"all the crap hitting the ZA" are all network services XP's running (routing, DNS, RA, WINS). It usually makes no harm but you can also set permanent ZA filter and it wouldn't bother you all the time.
I have no idea what applications you've installed from the CD, but you obviously can set small network without using all these wizards.
Give both machines static IP addresses (like 10.1.1.1 & 10.2.2.2 or whatever you want).
Don't set DNS or Default gateway
Then make 'em both members of simple
workgroup, this should work.
Do you see other machine typing \\computer_name ?
If not, remove DNS and GW addresses.
Good luck
Chef
p.s. What about these drivers, what hw configuration you have, maybe folks would figure out sth